I trust your 2020 is off to a good start? My decade has not gone…exactly the way I was planning.
On December 16th I was headed out to the Oregon coast to make some repairs on a small water leak. Around 8:30 PM on Highway 130 that winds and bends it’s way along the Nestucca River, a deer jumped down into the road in front of me. Just reacting, I swerved to the left. Unfortunately, the road was turning sharply to the right, and I was unable to correct and wound up going down over the edge of a steep ravine sloping downs towards the river.
Fortunately, I hit a large fir. (How often do we consider it fortunate to hit a large tree?) The tree crushed the right front end of the car locking the vehicle into place at a 90 degree angle. Had the tree not been there I would have likely turned over and rolled into the river below. Less fortunately, the impact of the tree crushed the car around my left leg, pinning it tightly. I had no head injury or damage to my organs. Nothing was bleeding. The impact broke my right wrist, and my left leg was not budging.
I was so far below the road level, cars passed but they could not see me. So, for the next eight hours I worked to free my leg. Many of you have written to me how frightening this must have been. All I can say is that night I didn’t feel afraid, and I didn’t feel alone. I felt cold, pain, and a pressing sense of urgency to get out of that situation. I don’t believe I have ever been so focused in all my life.
And around 5:45 AM the next day, I was able to finally pull my leg free. Only, what I discovered after pulling it out the nerves had been crushed and my leg was now broken. It’s for me to know today whether the leg was broken in the initial impact or whether it cracked from the trauma of twisting and pulling it free. Then, I discovered the doors and windows of the car were jammed. So, the only way out was kicking open my sunroof with the one good leg I had left. After this, I was able to squeeze through and drop down the ground that was sharply sloping away. After a painful landing, I managed to climb up the bank, lifting myself up using my good leg, and then collapsing my body onto my broken one. After I made the road, I started to limp towards town. A couple of cars passed without stopping. One vehicle with two seniors stopped and said they would call 911 when they had cell coverage, but their looks made it clear I wasn’t getting into their car. Stumbling, I made it about 1.5 miles before a guy stopped and let me climb into his truck where I stayed until the ambulance finally came.
What to make of all this? It’s hard to say, really. While I appreciate well intended comments like God putting that tree there and things like that, the truth is people die in car accidents every day. And I have a hard time making sense of a God who places magical trees for some, while letting others, letting children, die. Still, it’s actually my job to ask where God was in all of that. My honest answer is I don’t know. Right now I don’t entirely know. What I do know is I’m grateful for the abilities I had that night to extricate myself. I’m grateful my injuries weren’t worse- a slight shift in any of the variables could have meant a very different outcome for me. And I’m grateful for all of you- your notes, your prayers and good thought, and your understanding and love. Is God in all of that- for me the answer is absolutely.
This wasn’t the way I was planning for 2020 to start out, but you know what? Our plans are just that- plans. And they are subject to change. So, as you begin your year and make your plans, may you hold them gently. May you give thanks for what is good and let go of what does that bring you joy. Instead of giving others advice, may we just lift them up to the light trusting that they are well able. And when the plans fall apart, as they surely will, may your senses be alert to who and what is being placed in your path as a blessing, until a new plan becomes clear.