Nefilibata

Words delight me. Especially words like Nefilibata, a Portuguese word that literally means “cloud walker.” A Nefilibata, or cloud walker, is a dreamer- someone who allows themselves the freedom to remember that all we can see is not all there is.

Once a friend visited me from overseas. We had known each other through social media, but we had never met. I had a feeling I would like him, but I had no idea how deep our connection would be. He wasn’t just traveling- he was on something of a midlife pilgrimage. He felt like there might be changes in his professional life and his personal life, and he needed a journey to learn what was happening in his soul.

We spent time at Pacific City, surfing in the Pacific Ocean and taking kayaks up the Nesucca River. We climbed up a snowy trail to Mirror Lake overlooking Mt. Hood. We sat up sipping single malt and talking deep into the night. It was the first stop on a journey that would take him through the southwest, southeast, and ultimately winding up in Florida. But as many miles as he traveled physically, the distance he went down into himself was even greater. The courage with which he picked up the tender, fragile pieces of his life, weighed and examined them has stayed with me ever since.

He is a Nefilibata, a could walker, a dreamer. And his dreams came to pass. Upon returning home he made massive shifts in his life, shifts that worried and concerned some- shifts that made absolute sense to me.

I wrote this piece for him. And just a note on another unusual word in the piece- saorse. Saorse is a Gallic word meaning freedom.

Nefilibata

Leaving broken dreams

you came through

clouds and over

seas to see

this new land.

You have felt

the waves battling

your body, floated

through the silence

of the hills,

and held snow

cupped in hand.

You will know

the lonely heat 

of the desert,

taste the Cuban

spice of the

keys and leave

a different person

than you started.

Now more alive.

More sure in

the saorse of

your deepest self.

Of course the

real adventure has

always been within.

Facing what you

have done and 

what you have 

become with each

small step leaning

into the hungry

darknesses and deep

joys of your

soul lifting up

your contradictions gently,

sifting through them

in the gloaming

twilight. And somehow

at the bottom 

of who you

are you find

a lifting, soaring

spirit and discover

yourself Nefilibata, cloud

walker, once again.