So, one of the things I’ve learned caring for people is we say things to ourselves we would NEVER say to our worst enemy. We see everything we do, and most of us endure a constant stream of negativity and criticism towards ourselves. Why did I do that? What the hell was I thinking when I said that to her? What am I even doing?
I’ve also noticed a belief some hold that if they let up on themselves, that somehow they would slide into bad habits or mediocrity. And so they just keep up the daily barrage on themselves- harsher than the worst boss they could imagine. Only it doesn’t seem to be working so well, does it?
It…doesn’t have to be like this, does it? It’s possible to cultivate a friendship with ourselves, and manifest kindness and gentleness towards ourselves. We are, in the end, the ones who have the chance of knowing ourselves best. And unlike others who we have no control over- we actually have a shot at shifting our behavior towards ourselves.
My first coach was a Buddhist and meditated for hours at a time. Once, I was curious about this. Like, I appreciate meditation, but I’m not really the hourly meditation type just yet. I asked him what that was like. What did he do and feel? “Oh,” he said, “I just sit down every morning and ask myself what I’m up to today.” He viewed his soul as a mystery- like another being inside of him. And he spent time getting to know this person and observe their shifting moods and habits. This poem comes out of that conversation…
Questions If character is what you do when no one else is around self-worth is how you treat yourself when there is no witness. How do you speak to yourself when are alone? Do you know how to be gentle with your soft heart even when you’ve failed? Again. Do you know how to befriend your soul? Can you be as curious about yourself as you are the ones you love? Can you sit with yourself as say, “What am I up to today?” How do you feed your hungry animal body? Would you want your children or your friend’s children to eat like you do when no one else is looking? Can you forgive yourself? You’ve seen everything you’ve ever done or thought or said. Can you see you are more wonderous than all of it combined? Are you willing to finally, finally start seeing what you love about your vulnerable, changing body instead of noticing all you would fix? Will you let go of worrying so much about what everyone else thinks? They’re as confused as you are. And no one knows what they’re doing. If character is what you do when no one else is around self-worth is how you treat yourself when there is no witness. You came into this world alone, and you will leave it the same way. When you begin to finally care about yourself you will never be lonely. Start today.